My dear future employers, these are my

"Employement Characteristic."

My friend send me a link to a website that calculates your employement characteristic through numerology.... so I was reading it and I thought: Wow if it wasn't me I would hire this person!!! So these are the fun results... of the little test.

They just make me wanna ask: Don't you just wanna to hire me or marry me on the spot?

Natal Year number: 9
A cheerful soul, Deborha is an attractive individual whose humour and charm can inspire others to follow her ideas. Although her active brain can generate many bright ideas, she cannot be guaranteed to finish one idea before starting on the next. Although money tends to burn a hole in her pocket, Deborha will always maintain the impression that all is well.

Ahem... this is saying way too much... alright I spend a lot... and I am not constant... but if something is due is due and I always end what I begi........

Natal Month number: 7
Deborha is a good communicator and enjoys discussion, but she will avoid stressful situations and arguments. She is a fund of new ideas that spill from her active brain with great rapidity, but her business dealings will always be constrained by her desire to be liked. She therefore lacks those long-term goals that would bring her prosperity.

but you like me... you all like me... don't you? DON"T YOU?

Natal House number: 7
Life is likely to provide Deborha with many different challenges, but in the end she will overcome the difficulties and make solid progress. She is prone to talk about subjects on which she has little knowledge, but her communication skills are such that she can be quite persuasive. She needs to focus on her long-term objectives.

No no long term objective I have figured out... (I have my life planned till I will turn 90...) but you see... it is the hows that I haven't figured out yet. I mean, I know I wanna take over the World, but I need a good plan!!!! Oh well, I need to focus... focus... focus...

Although Deborha may be reasonably talkative in public, she finds it difficult to express personal feelings to those closest to her. In employment terms, this inhibition is of little consequence.

See that? O flittle consequences... if I hate you... I won't tell you!!!... if I love you I won't tell you either... muahahahah!

Sensitive to criticism and naturally intuitive, Deborha has a natural ability to detect insincerity in others. Because she is a sensitive soul, Deborha can be a solid friend and a good listener. As a result, she will get on well with colleagues, whilst being more than capable of handling office politics.

Don't lie to me... I will know... Your nose will grow long and you legs will go short... lies have short legs. (now I feel like the blue fairy from Pinocchio) O_o

With a creative mind and a good memory, Deborha is honest, straightforward and optimistic. She will achieve her aims. She is capable of creative thought, and will appreciate art and music. She also enjoys an excellent memory - a significant advantage in any employment.

I would like to underline the last one!!! Thank you... thank you very much!

A practical individual, Deborha is a neat and tidy craftsman who can organise others to achieve her plans. She should use those practical skills and organisational ability in an office management, or secretarial function, or by applying such skills to self-employment. In general, Deborha is a neat and tidy individual - qualities of value to many different jobs.

that doesn't mean you can put me to do everybody's job... but everyone's job is fine.... although... I have a tendency of getting exploited.... hey!!! Dun take advantage!!!!

Deborha will find life's lessons hard to learn. She will suffer from loss (of possessions or those she loves) before questioning the cause of that loss. It is likely that Deborha will develop a faith of some sort, and although it need not necessarily be a religious faith, it will nevertheless be something that she holds onto against all the evidence. Potential employers need to find out what that faith entails.

I'll be honest... I believe in Dedaism.

Enjoying high intelligence, Deborha is inclined to look down on those who are not as intelligent as she. Hence she does not mix well with society in general, and in particular with different social strata. Yet Deborha is very ambitious to improve her lot, and will constantly strive for a better standard of living. She also possesses strong humanitarian ideals that may find expression in charitable work.

You inferior beings.... how dare you.... errrr.... no no poor thing don't cry!

Although less interested in the detail, Deborha is a well-organised individual who plans ahead. If she absorbs knowledge through study, she will achieve great success, quite possibly in an artistic field. The essence however of this combination is her desire to plan, and to organise herself to achieve her goals.

As I previously mention... I will take over the world.

Good with her hands, Deborha is a natural craftsman who will work for as long as it takes to secure a perfect result. Capable and practical, she gets on well with others at all levels of society. If Deborha does not pursue a practical trade, it will be important to develop a subsidiary practical interest to complement her main employment.

I addition to that I would like to say: I KNOW HOW TO COOK... I am a really good cook.

Of course there's still to considere my good looks and my winning personality. (they are always a plus).. and the fact that I make good coffee.

I am so lucky my friends have such interesting personalities... they turn their life in somthing to talk about... ergo ... a story.

I always wondered: what was so mysterious or incredibly fascinating that brought me to like stories?

I think in storytelling there are two main things: great stories and great storytellers.

In the first case the story survives its creator and becomes something that belongs to everyone: like myths and legends.
In the second case the creator was so good that transformed something very banal in something worth telling over and over.

I like the second case a lot. For Example if I say Homer everybody thinks Iliad and Odissey (well, somebody thinks The Simpsons) right away. This association is what I like the best... if we consider how entertaining his stories were... well, yes they were pretty nice, but not different from many other stories.
Take the war of Troy for example, which is maybe a prototype to a soap opera, where an unfaitful woman runs away form her husband with a younger man... and that causes a major war.
Well, the whole war lasts 10 years during which we have betrayal, loylaty, love and passion, heroes and cowards...
but deep down the key to this story might be Achillis and his behaviour the fact that his death and the death of Hecotr might have ended the war... and how capricious the King fo the Mirmidoni is. Achillis, okay... a hero? I dunno he cannot be killed so there's nothing heroic in going to battle and kill people if you don't put anything at stake.
Was in love with Patroclus, was in love with Briseide or Cassandra... maybe he was just horny all the time?
and what's with Polissena. She sees him choke her twin brother Troilo (well actually, crash his chest during an attempted rape) and what she does... she plans revenge... she wants to marry him and discovers his weak point.... and as an excuse for her wanting to be hisi wife is the fact... : she got fascinated by the passion he embraced Troilo with. (and he believes that?)
Supposedly Helen too, after Paris dies, gets married with his brother Deiphobo like... tow hours after the funerals?

If this isn't a soap opera kind of story... then tell me, what is it?
It's an ephic... but why is it?
Because Homer told it the right way...
there a big difference in saying:

"So these is the story of these acheian guys and this dude called Achillis who was always might pissed!"

"cantami o diva del pelide Achille l'ira funesta che infiniti addusse lutti agli achei"

(sing me, oh diva, of Achillis son of Peleis and his sad/funereal rage that so many mournigs caused to the acheians)

Now you must agree with me: words sing in the mouth of this Homer fella.... ^_^

and Since the narrator, a good narrator, is the think that makes the story good... or better... I am guessing... if those guys in Hollywood don't make the word sing.... my guess is Troy will flop or totally be a brain farth!

dedasaur: wah jeremy
dedasaur: the funniest thing happened to me today
jrmyntvdd: what?
*** Auto-response sent to jrmyntvdd: I am currently away from the computer.
jrmyntvdd: what?
dedasaur: wahahahaha
dedasaur: so you know we have a guest here, now...
dedasaur: and we cannot duplicate the keys to our gate
jrmyntvdd: yah
jrmyntvdd: yeah
dedasaur: so she takes the chordless with her and she buzzes
dedasaur: the apt and then opens the door form outside with the phone
jrmyntvdd: hahaha sweet!
dedasaur: so I was on the phone with MCI cuz they are billing me for my old phone line
dedasaur: and they are wrong and I want my money back... and I am talking to this lady who sounds pretty pisssed
dedasaur: and I cannot understand what she says, cuz I think she is black and I cannot understand what she says... T__T... and I am gettin frustrated
dedasaur: and all of suddent i hear... bzzzz bee beep beeeeeep
dedasaur: and then Ha Jin's voice: dedaaaaaaaaaa open the dooooor!
jrmyntvdd: lol
dedasaur: and I can't cuz I am on the phone so I cannot dial # 9
dedasaur: so I tell her: I am on the phone and cannot hang up.... don't ring no more... your sister is coming for you.
dedasaur: but she keeps yelling: dedaaaaaaaaa pleaaaaaaaaaase open the door open the door.
dedasaur: so I am like: stop that you sis is coming to open... hang up!!!
dedasaur: and the lady on the phone all panicked: what is that! what's going on!
dedasaur: and I say: scuse me hold on is my rommate Ihave to open the gate
dedasaur: and the lady all stupid says: ia hear voices I head a voice...
jrmyntvdd: lol
dedasaur: so I say: good you are the new Joan of Arc
dedasaur: so I get pissed and hang up...
jrmyntvdd: oh man. you are fucked up
dedasaur: and I am thinking by now Ho Jin is downstairs...
dedasaur: so I dial mci number again and I begin to talk with another operator....
dedasaur: and all of a sudden I hear bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz beee beep beeeeep
dedasaur: and it's
dedasaur: the sister now... hahahahahaha (she did not carry the keys with her!)
jrmyntvdd: hahaha
jrmyntvdd: okay that is a good story
dedasaur: so with the other operator online... i just shout: wtf, girl ...
dedasaur: I told you to open the gate not to get locked outside
jrmyntvdd: bwhaahahahaaha
dedasaur: and the operator is all like: beg you pardon?
dedasaur: so I hang up again and open the door
jrmyntvdd: that's awesome
dedasaur: and when they get upstaris I am rotfl
jrmyntvdd: that's brilliant
dedasaur: and the girl runs to the bathroom with the phone
dedasaur: so she was in a rush cuz she needed to peee....
dedasaur: and then I was like: man, if when we are on the phone someone rings the apt number at the intercom we are fucked up
dedasaur: and the sister says: eh?
dedasaur: and I am like: yeah... they cut in the conversation...
dedasaur: and she is like: no no... she was talking to you through the phone!!!!
dedasaur: hgahahahahahahahaha
dedasaur: that's why I could hear her on the phone!!! hahahahahaha
jrmyntvdd: hahahaahhha
jrmyntvdd: that story is awesome!!!!
jrmyntvdd: make a short film
dedasaur: it's so so funny and the timing of it all was just like a cartoon
dedasaur: hahahahaha

My friend Linda, the other day, just out of the blue messaged me on msn this message:

"prima ho avuto una specie di epifania...
ero sotto la doccia
e mi è venuto in mente il moento
in cui studiare ha iniziato a non piacermi +
in 4a sup"

"Just a while ago I kind of had an epiphany...
I was under the shower
and I remember the exact moment
I stop liking studying.
It was during fourth year of high school."

There was such a drama in this revelation I had to laugh. She then explained to me the cause of her disliking, like... this very evil Math teacher who lived to torture her students...

Still the way she introduced the topic was mighty phenomenal!

I think I am having a good week! ^_^

Wow I am so happy... lately everybody is sending me such cool messages and I have so many interesting conversation that.... I fall in love with writing and language over and over again.

My best friend Grace just described her busy week like this:

saw a trapped bird.. thiking of wat i can do to help free it..
saw a caterpillar.. it grew bigger... crawling across my path...
same one last week... except it grew bigger...


It is fantastic... she is so taken by her work... but the only things worth talking about were these little moments where her eyes moved away to non-job realted things.

ooooh... suche a cool microstory!

My friend and I in the dedasaur group were talking about what kind of things we like to read... so Amelie Nothomb shows up in our lists....
Of course talking about her we talk about her book "Metaphisics of the pipe" really nice, but cynical book, and the story about the Koi comes up. (apparently she hates them but in our group everyone likes this fish).

So in response to one of my messages my friend Valentina wrote a sentence that all in itself was a beautiful micro story... I'll post it in Italian and translate it for you (although it might loose some of its musicality).
So about the koi fishes she wrote:

<< Avevo proposto a papa' di fare un piccolo stagno in giardino per mettercele dentro...
ha detto "si va bene, qui e' La pala,scava!"
Dubito comunque che i gatti le avrebbero lasciate stare!!!^_^""">>

It tanslates into:

I proposed to my father to make a little pond for them, he said " alright, here's the shovel, dig!"
I doubt the cats would have let them be though...

Hehehehehehe... when it comes down to work... cats are a good excuse to avoid it!
I think the story itself is really cute and funny but her conclusion was one of the smartest ever!

I am talking about writing with some of my friends and some of them are very fond of writing, like Alessia for example, she wants to be a writer. So I offered her to teach her that very little I know about writings and the things I learned in the 3 writing classes I have taken in College.

We were trying to come up with fun excercises and I told her to write microstories. A story that can be told in one sentence and still be a story. I don't rember where I read this nice micro story from Hemingway that said something like: In this store, for sale, used children shoes.

To me that story said a lot. So I came up with a couple of microstories myself. Something like:

- Please slide the mail for Jane Halls under the door, lost the key to the mailbox, getting it replaced.

- The manager said someone had been throwing up from his appartment window onto the patio but I saw nothing.

- Deda desperately seeks for job now.

this last one was... make up a story with six words... hehehehehe... kinda funny... or maybe not.

Since I recently realized I need to learn patience... I am finding myself more and more noticing things about patience itself.

I read this:

Life is like a long road to be covered carrying a very heavy burden: one must not rush.

If one considers normal the absence of freedom, there will not be complaints.

Being patient is the foundation to an everlasting peace. Rage is our worst enemy.

Knowing victory without knowing the meaning of defeat will not bring us but damage.

This words were written by Ieyasu Tokugawa, founder of the Tokugawa dinasty of shoguns who ruled Japan from 1603 to 1868.

I wrote a story in the summer of 2000 for my Compelling for Communication class (as if I needed to be compelled to communicate... people can't get me to shut up! ^_^).
I had to use the words: prince, brick, egg. I had to choose a theme: I chose coincidence.

I wrote this story because I am afraid of sharks and somehow I was trying to exorcise the fear... so I researched sharks and fishes and put a little bit of knowledge in this. So in the end this story became and educational fable about friendship and dreams.

I often write about dreams, pirates, angels and soldiers... but this lead me to write a whole other story the following fall.
For now... this is:


Brick and Remoura*

“I don’t want to be like them!” sighed Brick. “I don’t want be part of the flock, swimming around with my mouth open… looking for my prey all day long!”
“Brick… you are a shark!” Answered Remoura, the little shark sucker.
They sat at the bottom of the Ocean, together, speechless. Both lost in the quiet of the water, till a sound traveled four time faster to tell their ears that something was moving closer and closer. Splash after splash, the shark and his sucker could hear a victim, approaching. They looked up, at the surface, and spotted a seal.
“Yummie, dinner is served!” smiled Remoura. “I loooove seal!”
“It’s not a seal…” sighed Brick. “It’s a human.”
“Those are good…”
“Gross… sharks don’t eat humans!”
“But they bite them….”
“Yak, then run away because of the smell!” the shark shook his head. “I’m not that hungry.”
Remoura thought about it: humans were pretty bad smelling creatures. To bite them and then to inhale their stinking odor would have left any shark without appetite for days. He didn’t want his shark to starve for days… he lived on the fact that he fed and needed to be cleaned.
“You are so smart, Brick, how did you know it wasn’t a seal?”
“I happen to think…”
“Gosh, I had to hang out with a smart shark!” blubbered, disappointed, Remoura.
“Oh, shut up, you are such an egg!” said Brick.
The shark swam around, more or less in the same spot, for a couple of hours then stopped at the sight of a beautiful sea grass field. He was hypnotized by the movement of the marine prairie and the light of the sun was so iridescent and happy looking. He smiled with all his teeth, front, middle and bottom lane.
“Hey!” said Remoura. “Did you fall asleep? We are looking for food!”
“Asleep? What’s that?” asked the shark.
“You know when you stop and rest and dream…”
“Do I have to close my eyelids?”
“What eyelids?” frowned the sucker.
“You know the white things I use to cover my eyes with, when I bite…”
“I don’t know… I don’t have those…” Remoura was new at his job. Brick was very young, he was the son of the King of the Sharks and was alone, in the submerged world, for the first time… all by himself. So was him, Remoura.
His dad used to work on the King and said it was a family duty to go from a King to another one and it had been like this for generations in their family of shark suckers. So he took the job, not that he didn’t like it, but the King’s body was quite a big place to grow up on and Brick wasn’t even half his size. Cozy but average.
“How comes you don’t know how to sleep?” the sucker was curious.
“I guess sharks don’t sleep…”
“No wonder you are so aggressive… I would be a beast if I couldn’t sleep my fourteen hours at day!”
“It sounds fun!”
“Well it can be fun… if you have pleasant dreams!”
“Maybe you should teach me one day…”
Remoura was surprised at first, then pleased by the idea… of bossing around a prince. After all, nobody ever asked his opinion and this young shark was very much into the mood for a good conversation all the time.
“Do you think I can eat that?” Brick asked all of a sudden.
“What? The grass?” Remoura was astonished. “Why?”
“I feel like eating it.” He shrugged his shoulder. “Lately I’ve been feeling very uncomfortable with the taste of blood.”
“I don’t like the sound of that word… whatever it means.”
“It means it tastes funny!”
“Hey… you didn’t turn to be like one of those others… did you?” burst out the sucker.
“Others? What others? There’s others like me?”
Remoura didn’t answer.
“Remoura?”
“Well… I think it’s a legend… but my father said… that… there’s a whole bunch of grass eating sharks… and they live up North!”
“North!” Brick’s eyes shone of happiness.
“I wouldn’t go there, if I were you… it’s freezing cold up there!”
“But I must go, Remoura, I must go and find them… I thought I was the only one! I thought I was alone…” the shark lowered his head. “When you are one of a kind… it’s black loneliness and loneliness it’s like… not living at all.”
“Nonsense… Here’s another human… give it a shot… they might stinks but they are tender… there, white meat is the lightest!” the fish tried to put some sense back into his shark’s head.
“Remoura, we are going North!”
The shark sucker detached himself from his companion.
“Listen, pal, what makes you think I’m coming with you to freeze my fishy ass up there?"
“I thought we were friends!”
“I’m a parasite. I feed myself with your leftovers… you eat, I clean you. You protect me, I clean you… that’s the deal… you’ll never make it!”
Brick sighed.
“Life belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams… I shall go now… fare you well!” the shark left, in silence, following his instinct. He seemed to be sure that the whole universe would conspire to help him find his own way… in his own way. He bit the sea grass… chewed it and found it tasty. He cried for joy and didn’t turn back.
Life is funny, it turns the worst carnivore into a vegetarian in no time.
Remoura circled around for a while. He stared at the grass. He stared at the human swimming on the surface of the Ocean. Then he saw his friend getting farther and farther. He didn’t look like no prince, in that very moment. He didn’t look anything like a royalty. He just looked crazy.
All of a sudden he saw a big shark swimming over his head and smiled, his little fishy smile.
“Hello!” he said introducing himself. “My name is Remoura.”
“My name is Jade.” Said the other shark. “Say… are you unemployed at the moment?”
“I just happened to loose my shark.”
“Despicable accident… a fisherman?”
“No, sea grass…”
The other one didn’t understand.
“Jade… how do you feel about the taste of blood? Do you like it?”
“Sure.” He replied. “I can smell it from twelve miles away... if not more.”
“How about swimming with the mouth opened all the time, chasing your preys…”
“That’s what I do!” answered the vain shark.
“What about humans…”
“Stinky but tasty…” replied the other one. “Are you gonna take the job?”
“Do you sleep?” asked in the end the fish.
“Sleep? That stupid fishes’ activity? It’s such a waste of time!” he opened wide his eyes and looked very very scary. Remoura swimmed backward. Looked at the shark and frowned.
“Maybe he is right!” he thought out loud. “Maybe you all are insane… and he’s found the only reason to live.”
“Are you taking the job, or what?” asked again the shark.
“Sorry…” smiled the fish. “I’m going to be busy for the next fifty or forty years…”
The other one couldn’t understand, again.
“Doing what?”
“Teaching a friend how to dream in the sleep… and learning from him how to dream with my eyes opened!”
“You are a fish… your eyes are always opened…”
“For sure they are now!” he swam away.
The shark maybe thought that that was the weirdest shark sucker he had ever met. He looked at him disappearing into the sea grass, and leaving distorted bubbles behind him.
Life is strange, sometimes, it turns the fishiest parasite into the best of friends… in no time.

Ironically.... the theme of "coincidence" really struck this story... the moment Pixar created Bruce and the other vegetarian sharks. Myabe that's why I dare publish this tale here... I cannot use it ever again (for a commercial purpose at least) since the prettiest idea of it all was already used by someone else and it's not that new anymore.

* the name in Italian of this tale was : a shark without a remoura. In Italian the word remora is both the scientific name of the shark sucker and it means hesitation. Someone who can act without a remora, can do things without hesitations (and scruples too at times). So the title was a game of words.

Deborha Daniele (C) All Rights Reserved 2000.

Who claims to know the stuff you are made of and can perfectly describe the way you are... does not know you.
Who truly knows you will never tell you, you are made like this, they won't need to do that.

The best friends are not the one you choose, but the ones who chose you.

If somebody sees things in a different way from yours, he is probably not wrong.

More than difference of opinions fear the person that shouts at you because his ideas differ from yours.

Only one person will love you more than I do: you.

The worst damages are done with the best of intentions.

Never let anybody tell you how to live your life, those are the ones who where never able to live their own. You... live your own life.

At the cross road today, while I was waiting for the light to turn green, I saw a few funny things:

I saw a guy in a suit, playing with drustick on his stearing wheel.
I saw a lady flossing, while her teeth were on the dashboard (which would make them... a denture I guess hehehehe)
I saw a guy talking on the cell phone, while his passenger was talking on the cellphone too.
I saw somebody singing with his stereo.
I saw a man that could not drive too well and got stuck with his car in the middle of the crossroad, while everybody elses danced around him with their vehicle. At a certain point the coreography took the shape of a five points star.
I saw a girl brushing her dog and using the same brush to brush her hair.
I saw a man switching from contacts to glasses.

When people asks me why are we alive? I cannot but think... it is for moments like these.

My friend Art made me notice I mispell a lot.

I never re-read what I write a second time... that would be writing, it would like editing and publishing something that has been spellchecked and refined.
It's like when you draw and the rough gesture is so nice and... when you do clean up you loose the freshness of it altogether.

I think of this as a free flow... I love free flow exercises... in my mispelling I can also see... how faster my fingers are compared to my eyes.

In the end I could also manage to change the colors of this thing and link my dedasaur club to it. He he he
I know nothing of HTML but one evening I had a conversation about it (and how to make a website... which I call a websyte - cuz I am getting psysched about it) with my friend Vonleigh.
He is cool, begins every sentence with Dude and ends it with whatnot (or watnot, that's how he writes it), as for me he begins every conversation with preciosa... and closes it with ciao, linda =).
He he he the whole conversation took place via messenger... so long ago, before the holidasy.
But the other night, for fun, I went into the templates of the blog and changed colors to it.
that's what I learnt from that bit of a conversation.

kakkoiiii!

Aaah culture!

My first day of class, in College (actually University of Siena) I can never forget. I was sitting in History of Music.
My teacher was explaining something and went on and on rambling about proportions mentioning the Bed of Procuste (or procuste's bed?) heh as an metaphor. Twentyfive little questionmarks sprouted over the student's heads. He stopped, seeing those doubtful eyes and figured: they don't know what they are talking about!
So he turned to the classroom and asked: how many of you come from classica studies high school?
Some twenty odds hands were raised. The he asked: is there anyone amongst you who know what "the bed of Procuste" is?
My littel hand shows up. SO he asks me and I tell him the story of this giant/bandit that used to stop people in the middle of the forest and put them on a bed... and if they were too short he would stretch them and if they were to long he would cut them... in order to fit the bed. Then one day Hercules came by... and proveided him with the same nice service.
The my teacher asked me: what school do you come from?
And I replied, shy: ITC (Institute of math and accounting)
He started laughing: I should take more accountants in my classes from now on.

Culture... mhhh... or curiosity... or presonal gratification.

Another time, I was in Medieval History class and my teacher Duccio Balestracci (hello Duccio! ^_^) was talking about the 100 years war. So he came up with a monologue from Henry the V, (sorry I don't know it too well in English... all my Shakespeare I learned in italian when I was 16) the saint Crispin and Crispian (?) one. Somehow a line in that monologue says "I was there"... so while my teacher is saying "on that day they will say... on that day''... and I utter "I was there".

"Who said that?" he asked. I stood up and apologized. He smiled. "You were there? You don't look that old at all!"

Ha ha ha... but that very same person a few weeks later cracked a joke: History is already complicated as it is, you should not make it worse by telling it in the wrong order. (Once again my apologies for the translations from Italian to English, of something that was originally English).
Is he reallysaying what he is saying? I asked myself.... and he challenged us: who said that? who said that?
Names of philosophers and historians came out from all over the room. Then he looked at me: You are so quiet.
If I may talk... (I asked for permission)... I think I know the answer: It's Anacleto, the hooter, from Disney's the sword in the stone.

Isn't Anacleto just a wonderful name, for a wise bird, by the way?

That teacher and I became friends. When I went to Disneyland and Disneyworld I sent him postcards.
When I went to Italy with my friends, 3 years ago, and took Grace to see the Palio in Siena, I saw him. He was parading with his Contrada del Nicchio(quartier of the shell) and I called out for him: Professor!
He turned to me and smiled: My dear, thank you for the postcards...

I sent those out to him four years earlier... after four years he still remembered ... and first tought was to thank me.

Ah, culture is a nice thing... but more than general, good, solid culture... personal, individual culture is nice! We cannot know everything, our brain is not meant for that, but it is nice to know what we know... it is funny to see how selective our brain can be with the things we like and dislike. Some people know more about this, others about that.. others know a little bit of everything... or there's the ones who know all about one thing.

Personalized culture, what a great thing!

This is one of those songs... of which... you read/hear the lyrics and think, yeah, I wanted to say that.
I've always had this thing that, I don't think I could be a mom but I would be a pretty cool auntie, one of those who says cool things to kids and all... and since 1998 (although my sister was not married yet) I was already buying and collecting things to give to my eventual nephew/niece.

This song, Claudio Baglioni wrote for his own kid... I was collecting thoughts to pass on to my dear baby nephew, Samuele, and... I stumbled in it... after many many years...
I never really listened to it... but some of the things he says, I wanted to say to my nephew too... so here is to you Samuele dear, that's how life will be like for you, that's what you'll get... this is what you will have...:

Avrai (you will have) Claudio Baglioni

AVRAI SORRISI SUL TUO VISO
you will have as many smiles on your face
COME AD AGOSTO GRILLI E STELLE
as crickets and stars in Agust.
STORIE FOTOGRAFATE DENTRO UN ALBUM,
stories photographed to put in an album
RILEGATO IN PELLE
with a leather bind
TUONI DI AEREI SUPERSONICI CHE FANNO ALZAR LA TESTA
airplanes' thunders that make our heads look up
E IL BUIO ALL'ALBA CHE SI FA D'ARGENTO ALLA FINESTRA
and the darknes that will turn into a silver dawn at you window
AVRAI UN TELEFONO VICINO CHE VUOL DIRE GIA' ASPETTARE
you will have a telephone (next to you) and that already means... waiting
SCHIUMA DI CAVALLONI PAZZI CHE S'INSEGUONO NEL MARE
the foam of crazy waves that pursue each other in the sea
E PANTALONI BIANCHI DA TIRARE FUORI CHE E' GIA' ESTATE
and white pants to take out of your closet for it's summer already
UN TRENO PER L'AMERICA SENZA FERMATE
a train straight to America with no stops
AVRAI DUE LACRIME PIU' DOLCI DA SECCARE
you will have two sweet sweet tears to dry (in the sun)
UN SOLE CHE SI UCCIDE E PESCATORI DI TELLINE
a sun that kills itslef and sunset shell fishermen
E NEVE DI MONTAGNE E PIOGGIA DI COLLINE
snow on the mountains an rain above the hills
AVRAI UN LEGNETTO DI CREMINO DA SUCCHIARE
you'll have a popsicle stick to suck on (cremino is a vanilla icecream covered with chocolate... on a stick)
AVRAI UNA DONNA ACERBA E UN GIOVANE DOLORE
you will have an unripe (immature) woman and young pain (pain of youth)
VIALI DI FOGLIE IN FIAMME AD INCENDIARTI IL CUORE
Avenues of leaves in flames to burn your heart
AVRAI UNA SEDIA PER POSARTI E ORE
You will have a chair to lean on and hours
VUOTE COME UOVA DI CIOCCOLATO
as empty as chocolate eggs (easter eggs are hollow ^_^)
ED UN AMICO CHE TI AVRA' DELUSO TRADITO INGANNATO
and a friend you will have deceived you, betrayed you and cheated on you
AVRAI AVRAI AVRAI IL TUO TEMPO PER ANDAR LONTANO
you will have you will have and will have your time to go the distance
CAMMINERAI DIMENTICANDO
you will walk forgetting
TI FERMERAI SOGNANDO
and will stop dreaming
AVRAI AVRAI AVRAI LA STESSA MIA TRISTE SPERANZA
you will have my same sad hope
E SENTIRAI DI NON AVERE AMATO MAI ABBASTANZA
and feel that you never loved enough
SE AMORE AMORE AVRAI
if love you will have
AVRAI PAROLE NUOVE DA CERCARE, QUANDO VIENE SERA
you will have new words to look for when the evening comes
E CENTO PONTI DA PASSARE E FAR SUONARE LA RINGHIERA
a hundred bridges with railings to play (as an instrument... you know with the stick)
LA PRIMA SIGARETTA CHE TI FUMA IN BOCCA UN PO' DI TOSSE
the first cigarette che will smoke some cough in your mouth
NATALE DI AGRIFOGLIO E CANDELINE ROSSE
chirstmas with holly and red candles
AVRAI UN LAVORO DA SUDARE
you will have a job to make you sweat
MATTINI FRADICI DI BRIVIDI E RUGIADA
and morning soaked with shivers and dew
GIOCHI ELETTRONICI E SASSI PER LA STRADA
electronic games and rocks on the street
AVRAI RICORDI OMBRELLI E CHIAVI DA SCORDARE
you will have memories, umbrellas and keys to forget
AVRAI CAREZZE PER PARLARE CON I CANI
you will have caresses to use to talk with dogs
E SARA' SEMPRE DI DOMENICA DOMANI
and tomorrow will always come on a sunday
E AVRAI DISCORSI CHIUSI DENTRO E MANI
you will have speeches closed inside of you and hands
CHE FRUGANO LE TASCHE DELLA VITA
that will rummage in life's pockets
ED UNA RADIO PER SENTIRE CHE LA GUERRA E' FINITA
and a radio to hear that the war is over
AVRAI AVRAI AVRAI IL TUO TEMPO PER ANDAR LONTANO
you will have your time to go the distance
CAMMINERAI DIMENTICANDO
you will walk forgetting
TI FERMERAI SOGNANDO
and stop dreaming
AVRAI AVRAI AVRAI LA STESSA MIA TRISTE SPERANZA
you will have my same sad hope
E SENTIRAI DI NON AVERE AMATO MAI ABBASTANZA
and you will feel you never loved enough
SE AMORE AMORE AVRAI AVRAI
if love you will have, my love

and that's what, I wish you with all my heart, you will have my love...

This is the narration of my short film Ugly Duck done (from january 2002 to april 2003) in collaboration with Grace Toh. I wrote this poetry from a little fairy tale I wrote for my friend who was depressed... and from that little fairy tale the idea for the movie came out and then, we decided to change all the dialogues and the narration into a poetry. (when I wrote this story I did not know there was an Esopo fable very similar to it, one friend made me noticed it afterwards... there is a very good reason why I did not know... I hate Esopo, I have a good reason to hate his fables, I never read any of his stories... I will talk antoher time about it thought, it is related to a very stressful memory)

Ugly Duck

There was once, once upon a time
A land round and bright like the sunshine.
There was a farm on a hill, and there were animals,
All superficial, snobs, and hypercritical.

Amongst these creatures so very judgmental,
Lived an amazing peacock, pure and gentle.
And every morning the peacock he would glide,
Towards the animals with elegance and pride.

His tail he’d open like a fan of rainbow nuances,
And tall he’d stand while the other ones with glances
Of rage and envy at his beauty they would stare,
And none of them to be by him would dare. Pc closes tail

So beautiful, you are, they would then hail,
So elegant you are from head to tail.
So colorful you are, no one is like you,
You make everyone wish they were cute too.

Especially the duck, he would make faces
And turn his head away to other places.
An ugly duck that craves for many attentions,
An ugly duck could grow ambitious intentions.

So while the others would stare, in awe, and sigh.
The ugly duck could feel that deep inside,
He could be beautiful and popular as well,
If he too had a rainbowed peacock’s tail.

And he would plan a plot to be unique,
Till he came up with an idea so diabolique!
He would disguise himself to go acquire,
The peacock’s beauty, the beauty so desired.

So like a thief and covered by night,
He sneaked around under the pale moonlight,
He went to visit the peacock’s little house
And jumped inside fast as a little mouse.

What happened next will leave you in dismay ,
See by yourself what Duck did the next day,
With peacock’s feather stuck to his bare butt
He pigeon-toed across the round hill top.

With his new beauty that his wasn’t at all,
He glided, waddled and stood so proud and tall,
That all the other animals would stare
And none of them to be by him would dare.

So beautiful, it is, they would then hail,
So colorful and elegant is your tail.
So beautiful it is, no one is like it,
But at the tail they’d stare… not at the ducky.

Hold on a second – replied the duck so vainly,
Why are you mentioning my butt and my butt only?
So beautiful I am, no one is like me,
So colorful I am, as colorful can be.

You are not beautiful, replied the little chick,
With someone else’s feathers you are a freak!
Your tail is very pretty one can hail,
But you‘re an ugly duck with peacock’s tail.

And so duck could finally understand,
No matter how he tried to glide and stand,
He could not change the nature of his soul,
Now twice as ugly because he even stole.

One cannot change like snakes that shed its skin,
If changes aren’t coming from within
Ugliness goes deep and beauty clouds,
If change you must, then change from inside out.

tyn studios (2003)

Achillis and the Tortoise.

It's a philosophical paradox. I never actually completely got it... because if it were true it totally defeats the purpose of chronometer races (like in bikes competitions) where the best time is the one to win.

I heard about it pretty late in my life, I was in high school already, beacause my best friend Giorgia was reading The Abyss (L'OEUVRE AU NOIR) from Marguerite Yourcenar. The paradox says that if Achillis (supposedly the fastest man on Earth) and a toroise were to race against each other, if the tortoise starts first it will win, because for every step Achillis will take the tortoise took one too. I never stopped to ponder too much about the philosophical meaning of this paradox, but I did have my own personal interpretation of the fact... which maybe is way more superficial than what the real meaning of the story is... but it did help me somewhat during my life.

there are times in which we compare ourselves to others. When I was in school my mom always complained about my grades because I was smart enough to get straight A's, but always settled for B's (as long as they got me through school getting unnoticed and leaving no problems behind). I would alwasy say: why do you complain? there's people with worse grades than mine. She would reply: do not look at worse peopl always look up to the better ones.
In one way what she said made sense, why should we settle and compare with something that is too easy to be compared to. Silver is better than iron, but hey there's always gold.
On the other end there's was something wrong about what she said: why compare myselt to something different, something "other" than me... when it is me I should deal with?
I am silver, gold is a whole different material.

So, I was just thinking, she is wrong, until Giorgia told me: I read this in this book, I do not understand it but it is a funny story. And she told me about the paradox. So I thought, it does not make sense, like this... the biker who leaves first in the tour the France wins the tour! Five laughed for about five minutes then I thought: although this turtle... defeats Achillis by just being a turtle. (actually a tortoise) I got enlightened: the tortoise is not competing against Achillis, the tortoise is competing against itself.
So she does not have to be anything but what she is and no matter how fast Achillis is... the tortoise too is taking things one step at the time, at her own pace. So going back to silver too... there's silver 750 and silver 800 it depends on how it is refined.... there are diamonds and brilliants it depends on how they are cut.
I will set standards for myself. If I challenge myself to be the best that I can be and compare myself to myself at all time, I will improve too, I will grow up, I will learn, but I will be me.

That was the day I chose I will never measure myself again, using someone else's meter, because the only meter that can measure me, I have to set. I have to say, that challenging oneself's is way harder than competing with someone else. It is not a matter of defeating another person... it a defeat there will be, it will be our own, so we better not get defeated... but we have to win. How tricky eh?

When I started my "production" company, I called it: the little wizard (because I wanted to turn into magin anything I touched)
When I started my "musical production" I called the company: Achillis and the tortoise.
We had a song that we had to sing before a show:
"I lived all my life, with just the right pace that a tortoise life can't but envy and not compare, and so if I think, I will only sit, If I have to run, I feel oh so bummed. Never, Never I would expect in life to come to this, I was so sure I will always be true me and what me is, but if you give me a rhyme or reason, then I will change. It's like magic, just look at that, was I meant or not for success, I am that magnificent tortoise Achillis will never defeat".

heh, I wish I could attach music to this (it sounds completely different and less stupid when you sing it)!

Oooh the last one on the post office. My dad's adventure.
He bought one of those boxes that says Poste Italiane (Postal Services) on it (in the Us they are white and blue, in italy they are yellow with big blue letters on 'em) and put some stuff for me in there and went to send it.
The guy told him: u cannot use this boxes.
My dad: why? you sell them for display only?
the guy: You can only use them in Italy... u cannot send them outside the country cuz u see they say: Poste Italiane (italian Postal service)

With these words of wisdom in mind... (and neither of us is still perfectly clear about their meaning... maybe if it said Italian postal services it was only for Italian use? and If it said Poste Americane u could send them abroad?)... my dad took some brown tape and taped over the Poste italiane, so it would not show and went back.

My dad: is it fine now?
the guy: it might!

And sent it. Well, aside from the fact I received tons of those yellow boxes and the Poste Italiane thingy on it never bothered mymail man here in the U.S. my fahter told me:

You know according to his theory then, we live in a psychiatric hospital?
I asked: why?
my dad: well, cuz the sign is outside of the hospital not inside... and that is supposed to inform us that the crazy people must be us, not the ones inside.

Now it all makes sense!

the post office... I have a theory on the post office and their agents... in Italy... they give them IQ test. If they are smart, they won't get hired.

No offense.. the post office in Italy, especially in small town, could be compared to a spiral like Hell... where one just keep sinking.

Well, this is due to the fact that people pay their bills there, they collect their pension, as well as using it for mail service. So there's usually to line... the yellow one for the mail and the green one for all the rest... and it is like... the worse case scenario to get stuck into that one. First of all... I don't get why Italians still pay their bills at the post office instead of using their bank account, maybe they don't trust the bank, maybe they are afraid that if they are charged too much they will not get their money back (as I said previously... complaint is an Alien word). But all the bills, phone, gas, water, garbage, electricity... they all have to be paid there. On the same line old people collect their pension. SOme of them speak italian some of them don't. This is due to the fact the before WWII not everybody could afford to go to school and finish ninth grade. My grandma only went to school for five years, my great auntie for six (she is the only one in the family is very produ of it and always shows off for it).

so at times the lines are very slow because of miscomunication problem between the old lady/man speaking dialect and the post agent (who speaks dialect too.. but hey they are all dumb!).

Another characteristic of the post agent in Italy is... they are all lazy... they have this thing that we call Flemma (which could be translated into "turtle like pace"), they are not very kind either. So this is one of the little adventures I had at the post office once.

I was standing in line right behind the yellow line... a dude behind me cuts in front.
Deda: yo, stay in line.
Dude: you were not moving further.
Deda: yo read the sing, stay behind the yellow line.. so I did... move back.

When somebody cuts in front of you in italy... it is not only a great offense but really dangerous... it could cause a riot (and I can see people stacking a couple of shovels and forks in their bags, just in case) and the perp can be crucified on the spot.

I finally get to the lady and I say that I need to do priority mail, reccomended, to the united states (there used to be this thing that if the package was not bigger than 90 cm... height, lenght, depth... and below 2 kg - 1 pound more or less - it would not cost more than 8 dollars to send it, now it's 15! they doubled the price overnight!!! what a teft).

the lady looks at me and says: you can't do reccomended mail to the states.
deda: I always did, it's 8,8 euros if the size of the package is 90 cm and below 2 kg.
lady: it's impossible.
deda: get the catalog.

Shit, the catalog it too far away and I know the lady would not move her ass away from the chair to get it. Wow, what a mythological creature a postal agent is.... half man half chair... it's a brand new type of centaurus: a chairtaurus.

lady: I am sure u cannot do it... let's do priority instead!!
Deda: no wait!!! don't do stuff to my package I don't want... do what I say. I always did it.. you can do it.

Now I realize why she won;t do it... the stamps... the stamps for the reccomended mail are in the office.. way too far for her!

Deda: okay trust me just... do it.
lady: then we do surface mail... it's cheaper eh?
Deda: (upset) call me your boss please?
lady: (in shock) why?
Deda: I want your service to be worth my money....

the people behind me is getting frustrated...
a man: and call her the boss already.

The boss peers from the door of the office and I yell: Don't move yet! while you are there... could you fetch her the stamps for the reccomended stamps and the catalog please?

So the guy comes by fetches the catalog and the stamps and asks me: what seems to be the problem.
So I explain the situation and he smiles: yah, it's 8,8 euros!!!

So I finally grin and get my package done properly!!!!

the lady says: I did not know u could do that!
deda: (together with some 4 guys behind me) that's what I (she) was telling you for 15 minutes!

So she take the stamps, the sticker and she has that print thingy that she slams on my package as hard as she can (what a heavy hand!!!) and she reeeeaaaally takes her time to do so. So i leave and while I am putting my money back in the wallet the guy that was behind me is asking for some service and she says: no we can't do that.
guy: okay call me your boss
and the lady: arlight we'll do it!!!

And she finally gets off her chair.

In the end I realized one thing... the post office in my home town has bars between the postal employee and the customers. Truth is those poor agent looks at life through bars and they must feel like being in jail all the time. Maybe the felt they did something wrong in their previous life or something... so they feel compelled to treat everyone else like... poop under their shoes.

How sad migh their life be!!!! while out here, in the line... everything's so grand!!!

Hahahaha... so my friends always tell me I get into the weirdest situations... so true... but afterwards I usually make good stories out of them... to tell people and make them laugh.
I dunno if the situations are really funny... or if it is the way I tell them... for sure I am very animated when speaking and that helps a lot. But I thought if Iwrite them down... maybe I can figure out how funny they actually are.

In 1998 I left my hometown Siena (Tuscany) to go work in Paris for six months.
When I was there tons of things happened to me, the most obvuois one was that my take on life was completely different. When I came back in Italy, the followin fall, I was a different person. My sister would look at me with big caramel eye like to say: I liked you cuz u were my sister but now you are this totally cool gal! let's be buddies.
Well first funny thing that happened to me was that... I could not speak proper italian anymore (I cursed in French yeah) but if anyone asked me: have you eaten yet?
Instead of replying : I did... I would say: I just came from eating (which doesn't make much sense in Italian)...
In Italian would be: ho mangiato.... not vengo da mangiare... that is French grammar applied to Italian!!! LOL
The other funny thing was I came back more cheerful, corteous and kind (that probably had to do with the fact I worked in Disneyland where u have to grin even if you are about to die, right? ^_^) and at the same time I was more demanding on thing. I learned from the British (those frightening Brits) one sentence: the service provided is not worht the price, I want my money back!
The first time I heard that sentence was like... Goood!!! The sky opened and.... a ray of light came straight to my forehead and....: wow, can I do that?
You see in Italy people complains a lot, they complain to themselves (yeah we think out loud a lot!), they complain with their neighbour, the complaint with the priest... nobody ever goes and complaint at the source of their problem.

So these are the premises... now here's the funny story: MY FIRST ITALIAN COMPLAINT.

My sister and I went to our bank a couple of time in order to withdraw money from the atm machine. The thing had been out for two days now and we needed to pay rent that very same day (beside we were short on cash too for grocery shopping and other stuff). Now our atm card is the kind that, if u don't withdraw form you bank you are charge the most incredibly high transaction's fee on the surface of the planet!!! I'll be honest... we were pretty upset.
The ATM was still out of order. So my sister is there shaking her fist at the bank and ranting about it when I look at her, calmly and tell her: let's go complain.
Complain? Was that italian? I believe not... and to whom should you complain? the mistery of this word was soo the be revealed.
We get inside the Bank and I approach a nice lady: good morning, the Atm is out of order and we need to withdraw some cash now...
lady: get a withdrawal slip and step in line with the other.
Oh the line!!! One cashier only and some 35 people in front of us.
So then I say: No, I want to use the atm machine...
lady: well it's out of order.
me: I see that, what should we do to get it fixed?
lady: fixed? (anoter strange word)
me: yes you know, the little guy in the jumpsuit sticks a screwdriver in it and poof the whole system is back up?
lady: oh we called the phone company two days ago.
me: so?
lady: eventually they'll send someone?
me: eventually?
lady: they'll said their technician was on his way... but it was two days ago...
me: (gasping) did he die on his way here? well call them again!!!
lady: but eventually
There I am beginning to loose my patience and I say: eventually you call me you supervisor (another strange word)... your boss?
lady: why?
me: cuz eventually i close my account here and the ones of my family and the friends of my family if I just spread the world... go go.. call him.
the lady pick up the phone and calls her boss. The boss come at her desk and her begins part two of another alien conversation.
boss: yes.
lady: this lady here wants the atm fixed.
boss: we called the phone company two days ago...
me: eventually they'll send someone... no no... we call them again now.. and we have them send someone right now.
the man looks at me with astonished eyes, then looks at the lady. In all this my sister is laughing her guts out. So the man picks up the phone and call the phone company and guess what they say: eventually they'll send someone... exactly...
So I say: pass me that phone please...
I grab it and here goes conversation number 3.
me: yes, where there any death amongst you tech recently?
the man on the other side: Our tech are all in perfect health
me: well why don't u send one over and fix the atm?
mots (for short): Oh yeah we got the request from the bank....
me: two days ago!!!
mots: eventually
me: you'll send someone... look I am supposed to starce cuz you like playing games? can I talk to you supervisor? (silence) your boss?
Another man come on the phone. Before I can even say good afternoon I say: This is the bank of Rome if you don't send a tech to fix the atm we'll cancel our account with you nationwide..
the boss of the bank: can we do that?
lady shrugs her shoulders... my sister is rolling on the floor laughing.
the other boss: can you do that?
me: hear talk to the director.
so the two boss have a conversation and the bank guy tells me: they say they'll send someone in 45 minutes...
me: tell them we'll call them back if he does not show up.
So I grab a chair and i sit down and we end up ordering cappuccino a croissant from the bar until the tech guy shows up and fixes the atm... and all of this in less then 45 mintues.
after that I tell my sister to go check the atm and she comes back with the money and a big smile. Most of the people gets out of line... there's an applause... then I bid them good day and we leave the bank. For all i know that atm has never been broken again.

and this, ladies and gentlemen is Italian way of banking... next chapter will be: the post office (it's almost a myth already)

I wrote some verses for new year and sent it to my friends... some of them reaaally like them. I think it is funny cuz I don't think I make such a great poet after all... I love to write rigmarole, that's for sure... but my rhymes are all funny and this is due to the fact that English is something like... my 6th language!!!

Anyway... since people liked my greetings I will post them here both in English and Italian... the ones in Italian rhyme better nd are funnier but I think the ones in English are somewhat what I wished to myself too. Well, maybe I was just able to say the same things in Italian with better rhymes and more sense of humor... if you can read both languages, please let me know which one you enjoy the best.

there:

Happy New Year Everyone,
>I hope the new year will bring you joy, days fulls of
>deep thoughts and merry laughters, moments of truth,
>days dressed in blue, hours of satisfaction, seconds
>of glory, dishes full of your favorite food and
>costant meals, smiles on other people faces who are
>facing you, no heavy troubles to trouble your heads,
>no moments of sorrow to bend your will and put you to
>bed. I hope you will run in the sun and with pride, I
>hope that your friend you will always remind, I wish you
>the best, I wish you good luck, I wish you to beat a
>record and of money a stack! i wish you a happinnes of
>quiet contemplation and the warth of a family and of a
>pet great affection. If u can do it I wish you nights
>of good sleep, with sweet golden dreams and never
>sleep in. I wish you a good umbrella in a very rainy
>day, I wish you contemplation in front of a
>masterpiece, I wish you ambition to strive and demand
>the best, I wish you serenity when you reflect in
>front of a mirror. All of these I wish you with my
>heart and my soul... happy new year my friends, happy
>new year to you all!
>


>Felice Anno Nuovo a tutti voi, vi auguro un buon anno
>pieno di sogni e di soddisfazioni, di lauti pasti,
>squisitezze e ammirazioni. vi auguro di passeggiare
>sotto un ombrello quando piove, vi auguro di non
>scordare mai chiavi, portafogli ed occhiali da sole.
>Vi auguro giorni pieni di pensieri e parole, di
>attimi fuggenti carpiti e sole e suole. Un anno di
>soddisfazione, una vita di gloria, una settimana di
>ferie ed un momento di vittoria. Vi auguro buon anno
>se buon anno sara', ve lo auguro di cuore, sara'
>l'anno che verra'.
>
>Deda