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Wednesday, December 03, 2003

My body is my enemy: it gets tired easily because it suffers of asthenia. I might look energetic the whole day… but, then, I know the price I pay every night when I’m going to bed.

My body isn’t elastic: No matter how hard I try, doing sport, ballets, and gymnastic…. I still can’t bend to touch my toes and my back is as rigid as a piece of wood.

My body has no endorphins: it is afraid of pain. Can’t stand the drill of the dentist and cries for a little wound.

I went to a rope course with my compelling communication class. They said I didn’t have to do things if I didn’t feel like doing them. It was okay… my good sense was telling me over and over:
“You know your health insurance doesn’t cover you if something happens here.” It doesn’t cover climbing, skydiving and skiing.
- it’s okay, I don’t have to do stuff.
The ropes were pretty high from the ground. I couldn’t say in feet but it was at least twenty meters. My good sense looked up, between the trees, and told me:
“Hey, you get vertigos just sitting on a barstool, remember? You had a bone fragment floating in your ear and hitting your labyrinth for months…. And you have no sense of balance whatsoever ever since.”
- it’s okay, I don’t have to do this.
It was fun to see Annely climbing on top of a log, challenging her fear of heights… and Grace? She is a hard-core girl! There’s nothing she won’t do if she decides so. The quietest people did the bravest things. The cool ones… didn’t look so cool anymore on top of a tree. It was fun, I got to watch, I didn’t have to do anything. I cheered. I cheered on top of my lungs.
My poor back was hacking for too much yelling…. Also because the guy instructor… was taller than me and made me do a stretching exercise with him. I’m not elastic… I couldn’t follow the movement and bones and muscles snapped.
The Burma Bridge didn’t look so difficult… everybody was doing it! Plus the zip at the end looked so much fun!
- me too! Me too!
My good sense laughed at me:
“You can’t. Back pain… remember? Health insurance, remember? Vertigos… remember? Hello? Hello out there!”
- Shut up… if I were to follow you all the time I’d be an accountant now. I’d be in Italy and probably sick or dead.
The view from the platform was beautiful. The trees had green barks, because the humidity and the fog caused microorganism of musk to grow enveloping the trunks. The ground was deep red orange. Damn’ color and design class… the first thing I thought was:
- Uhm…. Complementary colors: blue green and red orange.
The air was crisp and everything looked so sharp. I don’t remember how I got up there…. I remember I wanted to go down the zip at any cost. It looked like fun! The only thing I could think of was that at the end of the bridge there was the zip. Unfortunately… there was the platform too. Then and there my ear debris decided to tickle my labyrinth bone again… the platform was shrinking and I could feel the void under my feet. I swear I could see my shoes growing huge!
“Ha ha – laughed my good sense – you forgot you freaked out on the Eiffel Tower! Now what?”
Well there still was the zip. I smiled and jumped down. Okay, I still wish the guy in charge of the zip told me the rope wasn’t elastic…. The jump whipped my back and I was suddenly shouting from: Jeronimo…. To Painfuuuuul!
Man, I’m too old for these kinds of things. I barely walked back to the bus with my classmates. I went to bed with a cup of chamomile tea, that night.
Still I proved a little something to myself, that day. I’m not as brave as many other persons… if my life is not endangered. However, I can force my stupid body to do things it would never ever do. Mostly if there’s something awaiting at the end of the trial…. That is really really worth the try. It was like seeing a summary of my whole life: body weak, spirit strong, and mind lazy. I take forever to take a decision but when I do I never go back, no matter what the consequences. So I go along, dragging this stupid body of mine, fighting with the good common sense and choosing hard paths, maybe. I go to bed with a cup of chamomile tea most of the time. But, what the heck, I only have a life to live…. And you should see the smile on my face when I go to sleep.

My body is lazy: It doesn’t like to train for fitness nor for fun. But it can carry trays with six main courses on it, for need, and lift a 350-kg table for rage.

My body is the home of “me”: We can have some pretty good times together. We both are scared of pain… surprisingly not of dying…. More surprisingly we don’t fear living either. This is when we get to have the best time of our life!

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