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Thursday, August 10, 2006

Imsomnia Business

Lydia scratched her behind and pulled the elastic of her pj's higher up on her waist.
She stared but did no look at phone; it kept ringing.
The clock on the wall was striking 4, a.m. that is, and it was still dark outside. She grinned, lifted a brow and went to the kitchen where she grabbed a brownie mix from the pantry room.
At the same time she turned around to tune the tv and tivo on. The "wheel of fortune" was on.
She opened the refrigerator and sing-sang: "get and F, and F you sucker!"
The phone ketp ringing.
The answering machine beeped twice but it didn't answer the call.
"what?" She went to look at the blinking light.
"you have 163 messages" said the display.
"huh, no wonder..." She pushed a button and deleted them all. "I bet I wond another trip to Disneyworld!" She turned to the TV quickly. "Get and F, an F you fucker!" and she slammed the remote into the kitchen sink.
While trying to reach for the garbage disposal, she saw a pile of broken remotes staring at her from the garbage bin. She sighed and turned off the TV.
"I hate this show anyway!"
The phone kept ringing, the clock ticked 4:15.
Lydia put the brownie mix on hold and turned towards the phone, her legs spread open like a cowboy ready to draw in a gunfight... except she was holding a wisker.
"I can see the force is strong with this one!" She sighed, cocked her head, gave in and picked up the receiver.
"what?" she yelled.
"Are you awake?" Replied the man's voice from the other side.
"What do you think?" She roared.
"I knew you were up!"
"The why did you ask?"
"It was a polite question." Said the man quietly.
"What do you want?" Lydia's eyes twiched.
"I can't sleep..." Said the man. "What do you do when you can't sleep?"
Lydia grabbed the phone and threw it on the floor.
"Ah!" She finally felt relieved. She kicked the machine on one corner... where another pile, this time of phones, was sitting like a pyramid o dead technology on the floor.
She felt suddenly relaxed and sleepy, her face reflected her totally zen state of mind.
Suddenly she gasped, her eyes wide opened and hit her own forehead with the palm of the hand.
"Shit!" She said" "Wasn't that the guy from radioshack?"

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