Dedaland

I went back home to Italy... for a month in september.... ha ha ha.... funny, this is the email I wrote to my friends the first day I got there.


well,
the flight went fine... until they tried to feed me.. dog poo... with spicy sauce and garlic... and I went
berserk on the plane and called the stewardess names... and they had to give me shots of coffee to
put me to sleep... (all true except the calling names part... hehehehe)...

for sure Delta used to be cooler... it was horrifying this time around.

when I landed... as soon as I got out of the plane... at the Fiumicino airport... I wanted to go back.. everybody with cell
phones... all these weird people speaking this funny "aò aò" language but all dressed up nicely like in a gap
catalog... the cultural shock was too much. I passed out.

anyway... before I could reach my way out of the airport.... I fell on my back... on my very heavy back pack like a
turtle... I was in the ladies room... I was spinning on my back like a dying turtle... yelling Help help...
a lady looked at me, got scared and ran away... I manage to survive.... and went to meet my dad...
who of course proposed (right away) for me to find a job in italy in a italian animation studios and make money here
(which is per se a contraddiction... cuz they would turn me into a hamster with pencil and feed me
sunflower seed - and not chocolate coated ones!).

but when I reached home it felt nice... I broke the shower (I pulled it down from the wall with an involuntairly strong yank) while trying to regulate the water.... ... my mum has decided to taked advantage of it and is going to redo the bathroom soon.

we went for groceries... and I faced realities... I met a few people who used to be really nasty to me
when I was a kid, talking nicely to me and remembering "cool stuff" about me, (as if it was my funeral and
everybody tries to say something nice)... about how much they liked me and how "different " I always
was... and of course I smiled and was really kind to them while inside of my head I was
thinking: you stink... you gave me a horrible adolescence... and now you are all nice to
me!!! so I would just say: really? I never realized you liked me (they never acted like they did)
That's what you get for saying: Oh, I dun live in italy anymore I live in San Francisco!
that's when I realized where I was... so I've decided to drown my infuriated self in a drink: I got me a
lemonsoda and five slices of pizza (that I paid like 80 cents each.... - die you guys!!! hehehehe)a gelato,
a huge buffalo mozzarella and another gelato.
now as my family watches a stupid Italian soap opera... and switch back and forth (during commercial)
with Star wars dubbed in italian... I am on the other tv watching futurama in italian... where bender sounds
like he is gay (no offense I mean... the fake gay, those very annoying ones)!!! and frie is way too intelligent...
oh... leela is... laala... duh!

it's too much, I'll have nightmare (also due to the ammount of food my dad won't stop putting in my plate)
you guys will be in it... and that will make me happier... now I have to go get watermelon... so I
will be sure I will not sleep... uh... jet lag is kickin innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

deda